Random Jokes

[Uno]

Hondas are like tampons...

every pussy has one!!

[tarkil]

   A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.

His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"

"You'll see", he replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.

"Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."

His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy! ... It's a fucking asshole ..."

[Martin]

Hahahahaha awesome

[Crazylegs]

lolz @ taht

[Chrisbo]

Hehehe, good one!

[Subliminal]

i laughed.

[tarkil]

What does a 70 years old lady have between her boobs ?

































Her belly button...

[Martin]

[Chrisbo]

Hehehe, true! 

[neurotic]

I found gross collection of the Princess Di's death jokes... will anyone be offended if I post them?

[Uno]

go right ahead

[neurotic]

What do you give the princess who has everything?
A seatbelt and an airbag.
*
What does Princess Di turn into at midnight?
The wall
*
What did the Queen Mother give Fergie for her birthday?
A Black Mercedes and a trip to Paris.
*
Did you hear they are going to make a movie about her?
It's going to be called "Di hard" or "Live and Let Di"
*
What does DIANA stand for?
Died in a nasty accident.
*
Dodi said Di and she did.
*
Did you hear about the new Pink Floyd album?
"Another Brit in the Wall"



These jokes aren't meant to be disrespectful, and I'm sorry if anyone finds them insulting...

[Martin]

*giggles*

[Uno]

*giggles*

[Sleep]

hahahaha, Princess Di jokes...horrible...but so funny...


Here are some horribly corny lightbulb jokes:

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

400,000.  1 to screw in the lightbulb and the other 399,999 to follow him just for doing so.

How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change?...who wants change?

and finally...

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They like to sit and cry alone in the dark.

[Mascara Snake]

Whats blue and fucks old people?


pneumonia


What do you call 2 retards in the bath?



Vegatable soup

[tarkil]

What do you call 2 retards in the bath?



Vegatable soup

Ha ha, I like this one...

[Mascara Snake]

Why did the bookmakers not give simon weston his money?






cause he had a burnt coupin!!

hahaha i love that one!!!

[skinnypuppy]

what's funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown outfit.
whats funnier than a dead baby in a clown outfit?
nothing.

[tension_the_wire]

What is the real reason that Steve Irwin died?




He wasn't wearing suncream to protect himself from the harmfull rays.


hahahahaha. proberley been already posted...and this is the nice one!