Bullshit Thread #7

[greencard]

im in school and i want to take a dump, but the bathrooms here are nasty and they dont have toilett paper haha so i have to wait til i get home... damn

my stomach is making weird noises hahaha

Wait...did you eat Mexican food?

[emotivelotion]

hes in mx

[lithium royalty]

i had a toothache the other day (i'm better now, DON'T SEND FLOWERS) and went to the chemist on the corner of st. georges and brunswick roads which is often populated by shady ne'er-do-wells who try to steal your dog and when they are caught act like they were just giving her a vigorous pat as she is 'fuckin cool'.

for some completely unknown reason i seem to find myself turning into julie andrews every time i pay chemists like this a visit as i don't want them to think i am FLEECING THEM FOR PAINKILLER-TYPE DRUGS IN ORDER TO FEED MY FESTY HABIT.

witness:


me: (brightly, enunciating clearly) hello! how are you?

chemist: fine thanks.

me: oh, lovely!

chemist: what can i do for you?

me: well, i think my wisdom teeth are coming through and let me tell you they are giving me seventeen types of hell.

chemist: right.

me: so i was wanting something that would make the pain recede somewhat.

chemist: i see.

me: (suddenly and loudly) or i could just gargle with hot water and salt like my mother advised me! will that do the trick just as well? i mean, it's not like i need pain killers as i am patently a clean-living lady with nice teeth.

chemist: well, you could...

me: (interrupting) i could rub cloves into my gums! that would work too, wouldn't it? honestly, mr. chemist - you and me, we're healthful people of society. we don't require opiate-type substances to make us feel better, do we? (tips wink)

chemist: i was going to say you could use naprogesic.

me: naprogesic! that would work!

chemist: it's an anti-inflammatory, so...

me: yes. And QUITE, QUITE LEGAL. which i adore!



and so on, until i gaily danced out the door with bright smiles and firm handshakes all round after making a generous donation in the lions club tin.


WHY AM I SO KEEN TO PROVE TO CHEMISTS THAT I AM NOT A JUNKIE?


is it because i look a little off-kilter due to the way i dress and i wish to prove that i am nice and would not steal their dog? wtf would my local neighbourhood chemist-man care if i crawled across the floor demanding heroin? it's not like they haven't seen it all before.




i do worry sometimes.

your posts are fuckin cool to read.

[Far away]

I wish we could get uber drunk and stoned together one day... And whith lots of other cool peeps from here... Shit, that would rock my socks...

I't would be really cool to hang out a little bit with some of cool bitches from here.

[tarkil]

true true...

[Moz La Punk]

I wish we could get uber drunk and stoned together one day... And whith lots of other cool peeps from here... Shit, that would rock my socks...

I't would be really cool to hang out a little bit with some of cool bitches from here.

Yes. But I think people are a bit afraid of me.

[tarkil]

Don't worry you wouldn't be invited....




No I'm joking man, you would be one of the few required...

[Martin]

#655064 +(139)- [X]
sw0813: you know, the movie ray really was inspiring
sw0813: he was blind, and yet still managed to hit his wife
sw0813: that means either of two things:
sw0813: 1. his wife was stupid or
sw0813: 2. he wasnt really blind
sw0813: i mean seriously, was it like "marco," "polo" WHAM!

[hydroponic82]

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[Far away]

?!

[DeftonesATF27]

Man alls i need is a blowjob, more drink (80 proof), some foods and a good movie then ill be god.

[DeftonesATF27]

im spreading too much style, i need to retire.

[DeftonesATF27]

I dont always have everything to say.

[DeftonesATF27]

someone take a picture to witness this history un wither.

[Mazzy]

my friend left for iraq this morning for the assyrian alliance volunteer work. i miss him ever so much. i wanted to go too but my dad wouldn't let me, he said he didn't want me to be around arabs and kurds. i was living in iraq about 10 years ago and i miss it. it's a really nice country...well pre-bombs, pre-terrorist attacks, pre-war. yeah. maybe in a few years time when i visit israel as well.

looks like i'll be a sydneysider for the rest of the year...and i ain't complaining!!

[Moz La Punk]

my friend left for iraq this morning for the assyrian alliance volunteer work. i miss him ever so much. i wanted to go too but my dad wouldn't let me, he said he didn't want me to be around arabs and kurds. i was living in iraq about 10 years ago and i miss it. it's a really nice country...well pre-bombs, pre-terrorist attacks, pre-war. yeah. maybe in a few years time when i visit israel as well.

looks like i'll be a sydneysider for the rest of the year...and i ain't complaining!!

I'm with your father.

[rxqueen]

I think this guy from this one series with Amy is fry from Futurama!

[alvarezbassist17]

if i start a band, i'm gonna name it pizzapussysanta... cuz everyone likes one of those things

[emotivelotion]

[hydroponic82]

 )