Bullshit Thread #7

[TheProzacFairy]

holy fuck . brady just threw an interception at the broncos 3 yard line, and champ bailey ran it back to the patriots one yard line


but bailey started to showboat, and it would have been a touchdown. but the patriots player caught up to him and knocked him down. but he fumbled the ball and it almost was patriots ball cause he fumbled the ball into the endzone and out of bounds



Omg i love football

I dont care for football

[lithium royalty]

i am not prescribed lithium, nor part of the royal family.

[hydroponic82]

i want to meet christ alone.

[lithium royalty]

"Female Viagra" Convinces Women that Men Will Call Them"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Jake Novak


After several drug companies failed to produce a pill that can increase female libido, the pharmaceutical industry has changed tactics by introducing a new line of psychoactive drugs that won't boost a woman's sex drive, but will have the same ultimate effect.

 
I just need to know where this relationship is going...Hello? Hello?

"Many women either hold back during intercourse or forego sex completely out of fear their male partner doesn't respect them or doesn't want to pursue a real relationship," said Doctor Martha Voorhees of Novartis . "However, our new drug 'Esteemcylcin' will make any woman feel like they're sleeping with the sensitive new-age guy of their dreams."

Voorhies says Esteemcyclin works gradually on most women. First, it convinces key parts of her cerebrum that the man she's out with will definitely call her within the next two to three days. Next, it convinces the user that that her partner is not only listening to everything she says, but is interested in it too. Finally, the pill implants something called a "created memory effect" into the woman's mind, making her think the man has already brought her to meet his mother.

"A few minutes after she took that pill, that was the ballgame," said an ecstatic Jim Traber of his date Amber Williams the morning after their first date. "She was all over me, calling me her 'life partner' and stuff. What the Hell? But hey, whatever gets me into her panties."

But Novartis legal spokeswomen Nate Snell had some words of caution for Traber and other men who may try to abuse the drug.

"Yeah, it gets you the immediate score, but these women get really convinced, I mean REALLY convinced YOU'RE the one. Plus, each pill lasts about 24 hours, so don't be surprised if your lady starts expecting you to do some chores around her apartment or pick out baby clothes after you're through in the sack," Snell warned.

Viagra-maker Pfizer is already testing its rival version of Esteemcyclin called 'Respectiva' which it claims adds some interesting features.

"Respectiva not only makes a woman think she's with Mr. Right, but it also blurs vision and olfactory senses to help Mr. Not-so-Right look and smell acceptable to almost anyone," said the pill's primary developer Doctor Juan Bonilla.

Insurance companies aren't sure they'll allow women to buy these new products with their drug coverage plans, but one high-level executive at a major health care insurer said there is no need to worry.

"What, a pill that makes women want to sleep with just about any guy? Christ, the U.S. government will be giving that out like surplus cheese! If you can't find it on your own, try visiting your Congressman or something, he'll probably be putting it in the candy dish in the lobby."

[Mei]

That's just great.. more unwanted babies..goodtimes.

[jv_]

just cuz you're one of those unwanted babies
badtimes

[Mei]

Ah, fuck off

[TheProzacFairy]

just cuz you're one of those unwanted babies
badtimes

yeah...you just say that cause you were left on a front porch

[DarkHorse]

acknowledge that you were rocked!

[lithium royalty]

haha.

"Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Jimmy Wellington

When Emily joined "Bangme.net", an internet picture rating site that was referred to her by her friend Kathleen, she was still under the assumption (instilled since birth on her psyche by her mother) that she was the best looking girl in the world. When she logged on to the site a few days later to check her rating, all her illusions were shattered, to the point where she wanted to slash her wrists with the jagged pieces of her broken heart.

 
Emily almost pulled off the coup of the online dating world

Bangme.net is a site, similar to several other online projects, where people can post their picture and rate images that others have posted. A large amount of people visit the site to feel better about themselves, because, lets face it - some people are pretty fucking ugly.

Having never had sex, Emily says that she has plans to one day, and that bangme.net "seemed to be a very good way to meet wholesome people" who would see her for her inner beauty, which is enormous (interestingly enough, so is her frame).

Emily decided that her life could not be considered complete until she had achieved a rating of at least 50%, which in her mind would make her "bangable".

At this point of the story is where Adobe Photoshop entered into the visual equation. Emily asked friend Brian K. White, a graphic designer who runs the internet website Glossy News, to touch up her picture to make her more attractive.

White talks about the process: "At first I thought she was kidding. When I realized that she was serious, I told her that there was only so much I can do, I mean you can't turn a Yugo into a Ferrari. When she burst into tears and grabbed the butcher knife in the kitchen, I told her I was only...um...kidding. Yep, what a big kidder I am! Ha ha! Say, can you put down the knife, sweetie?"

White realized that this wasn't just a minor touch-up, this transformation would be akin to making Keith Richards look alive. He broke out his copy of Photoshop and opened the picture that Emily provided. After 7 and a half hours, he hadn't gotten anywhere, and he was about to suggest a blind dating service, when he stumbled onto the solution. "I realized that if I fucked up the picture to the point where you couldn't even tell if the subject was human, there was a remote chance that somebody might want to have sex with her.

Using the message board aspect of the site, Emily found her current fiance Brad, who also used Photoshop to enhance his picture to "look sexy for all the hot ladies out there". When Emily met Brad, she discovered that he was just as ugly as she was, although one minute and thirty seconds later, she was no longer a virgin. Brian White is happy for his friend, and with the role that his computer skills played in helping her find true love.


"It's great that she found love, I'm so happy for her. But I've already told her that she better use birth control, I mean they're great people, but their bringing a child into the world would most likely bring upon the apocalypse."

[lithium royalty]

http://ebaumsworld.com/2006/01/cblutherking.html

[DarkHorse]

haha.

"Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Jimmy Wellington

When Emily joined "Bangme.net", an internet picture rating site that was referred to her by her friend Kathleen, she was still under the assumption (instilled since birth on her psyche by her mother) that she was the best looking girl in the world. When she logged on to the site a few days later to check her rating, all her illusions were shattered, to the point where she wanted to slash her wrists with the jagged pieces of her broken heart.

 
Emily almost pulled off the coup of the online dating world

Bangme.net is a site, similar to several other online projects, where people can post their picture and rate images that others have posted. A large amount of people visit the site to feel better about themselves, because, lets face it - some people are pretty fucking ugly.

Having never had sex, Emily says that she has plans to one day, and that bangme.net "seemed to be a very good way to meet wholesome people" who would see her for her inner beauty, which is enormous (interestingly enough, so is her frame).

Emily decided that her life could not be considered complete until she had achieved a rating of at least 50%, which in her mind would make her "bangable".

At this point of the story is where Adobe Photoshop entered into the visual equation. Emily asked friend Brian K. White, a graphic designer who runs the internet website Glossy News, to touch up her picture to make her more attractive.

White talks about the process: "At first I thought she was kidding. When I realized that she was serious, I told her that there was only so much I can do, I mean you can't turn a Yugo into a Ferrari. When she burst into tears and grabbed the butcher knife in the kitchen, I told her I was only...um...kidding. Yep, what a big kidder I am! Ha ha! Say, can you put down the knife, sweetie?"

White realized that this wasn't just a minor touch-up, this transformation would be akin to making Keith Richards look alive. He broke out his copy of Photoshop and opened the picture that Emily provided. After 7 and a half hours, he hadn't gotten anywhere, and he was about to suggest a blind dating service, when he stumbled onto the solution. "I realized that if I fucked up the picture to the point where you couldn't even tell if the subject was human, there was a remote chance that somebody might want to have sex with her.

Using the message board aspect of the site, Emily found her current fiance Brad, who also used Photoshop to enhance his picture to "look sexy for all the hot ladies out there". When Emily met Brad, she discovered that he was just as ugly as she was, although one minute and thirty seconds later, she was no longer a virgin. Brian White is happy for his friend, and with the role that his computer skills played in helping her find true love.


"It's great that she found love, I'm so happy for her. But I've already told her that she better use birth control, I mean they're great people, but their bringing a child into the world would most likely bring upon the apocalypse."

I thoroughly agree with "Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"
wanna know why? see Alimei's av? that's after the touch ups but I HAVE FOUND THE ORIGINAL

[hydroponic82]

and her compacts carving deeper in your lap

[Mei]

LOL, good ones..

[TheProzacFairy]

haha.

"Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Jimmy Wellington

When Emily joined "Bangme.net", an internet picture rating site that was referred to her by her friend Kathleen, she was still under the assumption (instilled since birth on her psyche by her mother) that she was the best looking girl in the world. When she logged on to the site a few days later to check her rating, all her illusions were shattered, to the point where she wanted to slash her wrists with the jagged pieces of her broken heart.

 
Emily almost pulled off the coup of the online dating world

Bangme.net is a site, similar to several other online projects, where people can post their picture and rate images that others have posted. A large amount of people visit the site to feel better about themselves, because, lets face it - some people are pretty fucking ugly.

Having never had sex, Emily says that she has plans to one day, and that bangme.net "seemed to be a very good way to meet wholesome people" who would see her for her inner beauty, which is enormous (interestingly enough, so is her frame).

Emily decided that her life could not be considered complete until she had achieved a rating of at least 50%, which in her mind would make her "bangable".

At this point of the story is where Adobe Photoshop entered into the visual equation. Emily asked friend Brian K. White, a graphic designer who runs the internet website Glossy News, to touch up her picture to make her more attractive.

White talks about the process: "At first I thought she was kidding. When I realized that she was serious, I told her that there was only so much I can do, I mean you can't turn a Yugo into a Ferrari. When she burst into tears and grabbed the butcher knife in the kitchen, I told her I was only...um...kidding. Yep, what a big kidder I am! Ha ha! Say, can you put down the knife, sweetie?"

White realized that this wasn't just a minor touch-up, this transformation would be akin to making Keith Richards look alive. He broke out his copy of Photoshop and opened the picture that Emily provided. After 7 and a half hours, he hadn't gotten anywhere, and he was about to suggest a blind dating service, when he stumbled onto the solution. "I realized that if I fucked up the picture to the point where you couldn't even tell if the subject was human, there was a remote chance that somebody might want to have sex with her.

Using the message board aspect of the site, Emily found her current fiance Brad, who also used Photoshop to enhance his picture to "look sexy for all the hot ladies out there". When Emily met Brad, she discovered that he was just as ugly as she was, although one minute and thirty seconds later, she was no longer a virgin. Brian White is happy for his friend, and with the role that his computer skills played in helping her find true love.


"It's great that she found love, I'm so happy for her. But I've already told her that she better use birth control, I mean they're great people, but their bringing a child into the world would most likely bring upon the apocalypse."

I thoroughly agree with "Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"
wanna know why? see Alimei's av? that's after the touch ups but I HAVE FOUND THE ORIGINAL

Wow....yeah you're a poor excuse for a human being

[Mei]

Yea.. Im flattered he took the time to photoshop something..

[DarkHorse]

haha.

"Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Jimmy Wellington

When Emily joined "Bangme.net", an internet picture rating site that was referred to her by her friend Kathleen, she was still under the assumption (instilled since birth on her psyche by her mother) that she was the best looking girl in the world. When she logged on to the site a few days later to check her rating, all her illusions were shattered, to the point where she wanted to slash her wrists with the jagged pieces of her broken heart.

 
Emily almost pulled off the coup of the online dating world

Bangme.net is a site, similar to several other online projects, where people can post their picture and rate images that others have posted. A large amount of people visit the site to feel better about themselves, because, lets face it - some people are pretty fucking ugly.

Having never had sex, Emily says that she has plans to one day, and that bangme.net "seemed to be a very good way to meet wholesome people" who would see her for her inner beauty, which is enormous (interestingly enough, so is her frame).

Emily decided that her life could not be considered complete until she had achieved a rating of at least 50%, which in her mind would make her "bangable".

At this point of the story is where Adobe Photoshop entered into the visual equation. Emily asked friend Brian K. White, a graphic designer who runs the internet website Glossy News, to touch up her picture to make her more attractive.

White talks about the process: "At first I thought she was kidding. When I realized that she was serious, I told her that there was only so much I can do, I mean you can't turn a Yugo into a Ferrari. When she burst into tears and grabbed the butcher knife in the kitchen, I told her I was only...um...kidding. Yep, what a big kidder I am! Ha ha! Say, can you put down the knife, sweetie?"

White realized that this wasn't just a minor touch-up, this transformation would be akin to making Keith Richards look alive. He broke out his copy of Photoshop and opened the picture that Emily provided. After 7 and a half hours, he hadn't gotten anywhere, and he was about to suggest a blind dating service, when he stumbled onto the solution. "I realized that if I fucked up the picture to the point where you couldn't even tell if the subject was human, there was a remote chance that somebody might want to have sex with her.

Using the message board aspect of the site, Emily found her current fiance Brad, who also used Photoshop to enhance his picture to "look sexy for all the hot ladies out there". When Emily met Brad, she discovered that he was just as ugly as she was, although one minute and thirty seconds later, she was no longer a virgin. Brian White is happy for his friend, and with the role that his computer skills played in helping her find true love.


"It's great that she found love, I'm so happy for her. But I've already told her that she better use birth control, I mean they're great people, but their bringing a child into the world would most likely bring upon the apocalypse."

I thoroughly agree with "Photoshop Almost Makes Ugly Chick Bangable"
wanna know why? see Alimei's av? that's after the touch ups but I HAVE FOUND THE ORIGINAL

Wow....yeah you're a poor excuse for a human being

this is a A and B battle so C your way out of it mmkay?

ROCKED!!!

[Mei]

Battle? Nah..

[TheProzacFairy]

Battle? Nah..

C your way out of it...LMAO!! wow yeah thats fucking clever

[jv_]

unwanted babies dont battle