Bullshit Thread #7

[DarkHorse]

my time is precious so I must use it wisely and play ps2 instead of working on my storyboards haha.

[TheProzacFairy]

Damnit.. these were new jeans :| Flippin' UGH!

TINA EAT THE FOOD!!

[Mei]

Tina, you fat lard.

[alvarezbassist17]

i have a dilemma.

my friends want me to do shrooms with them tonight, and my girl doesn't want me to (she had a couple friends go to the hospital), but she said i could, just not to tell her.  i've wanted to boom for a long time, but i lied to my last girlfriend a lot and i felt/feel horrible.  i don't want to hide anything from this girl.  what should i do?

[Martin]

Don't lie man.
Consider what your girl said a compliment, because it is; she's concerned about you / your health.
If you want to do it, do it. If you don't, don't.

[TheProzacFairy]

Don't lie man.
Consider what your girl said a compliment, because it is; she's concerned about you / your health.
If you want to do it, do it. If you don't, don't.

Ditto

[lithium royalty]

fuck that shroom. shes just saying shit like that coz she wants some too, just invite her and stuff.

[BigDave]

i say do it.  you're gunna lie to her eventually about somethng aye?

[alvarezbassist17]

i decided not to

i say do it.  you're gunna lie to her eventually about somethng aye?

i wasn't gonna lie to her if she asked me, she just didn't want me to tell her if i did do it.  i'm trying to make our relationship as straight up and honest as possible, because i definitely fucked up last time.

[TheProzacFairy]

i decided not to

i say do it.  you're gunna lie to her eventually about somethng aye?

i wasn't gonna lie to her if she asked me, she just didn't want me to tell her if i did do it.  i'm trying to make our relationship as straight up and honest as possible, because i definitely fucked up last time.

Thats good that you're trying..gotta show the g/f respect....cause if you dont they'll most likely set your car on fire  

[alvarezbassist17]

doesn't matter what i did to them, if anyone, even a girlfriend set my car on fire i'd break their legs.

[Mazzy]

do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

[Moz La Punk]

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

[hydroponic82]

Chuck Norris does not drink water. He simply swallows his own saliva. One teaspoon of Chuck Norris' saliva contains 100% of the recommended daily allowance of every vitamin and mineral known to man.

[Moz La Punk]

Hah.

[CentralIllNoise]

oh shit..am i gonna have to bust out some chuck norris shit?

[TheProzacFairy]

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

:lol:
But seriously...whats w/ the Chuck Norris craze thats been going on?

[Oldnewtype]

I've got a stack of Chuck Norris magazines right next to me.

CHUCK NORRIS KICKS DRUGS OUT OF AMERICA

[CentralIllNoise]

yes, some of these might have been posted already. but get over it, they're still funny

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change

[Moz La Punk]

Hahahaha nice nice.