Bullshit Thread #7

[one weak]

colorado meteorologists are so bad. they said it was supposed to snow sooo much here....it's sunny and relatively warm today

[fightclubche]

http://www.stuntcook.com/index.php?i=18276

[lyzaah_CavityCase]

http://www.stuntcook.com/index.php?i=18276

omg... that family must have sooo much time on their hands... fuck, it's horrible...

[tarkil]

Funny, I saw this video this afternoon too...

[tarkil]

http://gorillamask.net/properwords.shtml    :lol:

[lyzaah_CavityCase]

http://gorillamask.net/properwords.shtml    :lol:

:lol:

[tarkil]

For the londonian/english people :

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=1833&CAT=movies&NSFW=3&rtn=search-1833&Keywords=london%20underground

[vida_mae]

Yaay! i went tanning today... i love how warm the bed gets.. it feels like the summer sun on your body...

[defskull]

I ripped my pants today. The same ones I have had since 8th grade. It sucks.

[vida_mae]

haha! did it in front of ppl?

[feeling like more]

i saw a lady squeeze into a box today

[CentralIllNoise]

i might have posted something off this before, but i don't care, it's hilarious

1. Chuck Norris tears cure cancer...too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was Charles. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply starred at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya"

5. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jelous of Jesus's obvious gift favortism, used thier combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

6. Chuck Norris does not sleep...he waits.

7. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the leathal does of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rates of the other actors he fights.

8. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

9. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "bang!"

[Azwethinkweiz]

damn, my throat is so fucked up.

[vida_mae]

u need to quit smoking...

[hydroponic82]

My lips get black and my fingertips burn and my eyes half way open
Cough Cough and I'm chokin
But bitch I'm Still Smokin!
I wanna be puffin this like I ain't be worryin bout nothin
If you gonna get the cigar
Nigga I'll do the stuffin

I roll em swoll like broken arms.....
But I sure hate when they come around this bitch I don't know talkin bout
What yall smokin on cause....
Niggas like that we call em Hoovers
They try to get cool with ya
To smoke your weed up
Is what they do ya!
Puff.. Puff.... Puff ...Puff ..Godammit!
Nigga you ain't chip in no shit here
Bitch What's Happenin!
But if you did then its good and it goin down
Get rid of them nickels and them dimes
Bitch we throwin pounds!
Tenth thru 11th to the 12th ward bound
But P said one of my niggas I heard somebody say
One Time!
But I paid it no mind and I kept rollin
But that was the Po Pos
I gotta get rid of this fat ass Optimo that I'm holdin
Excellerate and I made that left on line center
I hit that bitch one more time
Then threw it out the window
Young niggas in a big white truck
You know whats up
They're lookin to catch you fuckin up
It just so happened that I was hot
They looked in the back on the floor
And the silver canon and they found the pot
I can't believe that I got popped
It took me 2 hours and 1500 dollars
To get unlocked
Straight from jail to the weed spot
Shit I took that as a minor setback
Hell no I ain't stop!

[Fireal1222]

i might have posted something off this before, but i don't care, it's hilarious

1. Chuck Norris tears cure cancer...too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was Charles. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply starred at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya"

5. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jelous of Jesus's obvious gift favortism, used thier combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

6. Chuck Norris does not sleep...he waits.

7. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the leathal does of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rates of the other actors he fights.

8. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

9. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "bang!"

number 6 is funny stuff

[Oldnewtype]

i might have posted something off this before, but i don't care, it's hilarious

1. Chuck Norris tears cure cancer...too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was Charles. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply starred at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya"

5. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jelous of Jesus's obvious gift favortism, used thier combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

6. Chuck Norris does not sleep...he waits.

7. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the leathal does of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rates of the other actors he fights.

8. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

9. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "bang!"

hahaha funny shit. im stealing this.

[hydroponic82]

haha number 3 & 5 is the shit ... whats funny is i can see chuck doing all of that .

[manic_bastard]

sidekicks kicks ass. best chuck norris movie ever

[Oldnewtype]

Broken glass and dirty needles
soul erosion truth
electric god
our superman found dead in a telephone booth

shards of teeth
ice pick abortions
orgasmic death so warm
lets die screamin'
black goat semen
I can't hear you whisper "conform"

Hearts will stop and brain cells pop
Apocalyptic high

she screams bloody murder as they chop off her fingers
so this is how it feels to die

but it's ok