Drunk and/or Stoned

[wheresmysnare]

does anyone feel morbid as hell the night after you've been drinking. I get such a come down i think it's developed with age. Or maybe i'm just a pussy.

[Sea Bass]

does anyone feel morbid as hell the night after you've been drinking. I get such a come down i think it's developed with age. Or maybe i'm just a pussy.

when you feel that, drink more. follow the unle sea bass advice.

[wheresmysnare]

Thank you seabass, the answer was obvious in hindsight, do you have a business card?

[emotivelotion]

definitely  HIGH

[defskull]

Not exactly drunk right now, but definitely feeling good.

[alvarezbassist17]

I've been stoned since my last post here \m/

[lostpilot]

I've been stoned since my last post here \m/

since october 2009?
yes, I was too curious

[alvarezbassist17]

damn, that was some good sleuthing on your part, but yes, it's true.  Mostly, anyways.

[Jizzlobber]

http://www.marijuanareviews.com/ great website..




mmm...

im totally fucking droooling over THAT!!!

thats the purplest looking green ive seen : )

smoke some purple green

[black coffee]

The Jizz is back!!!11

[lostpilot]

been smoking way too much (?) lately.
slightly insane, can't remember past 3-4 months, but it's okay, I have pretty excuses

[black coffee]

Even in my non-stoner times, I had problems to remember what I did a few days ago. I guess you can't just blame smoking weed for that. When something unusual happens, no matter if it's good or bad, you will probably remember it anyways. That is pretty much the reason why people write diaries, because they want certain moments to be secure when they forget about them.... I used to have a calendar book, and wrote in it what I did each day. It was 95% unimportant stuff, like "jam session with XZ" , "went jogging" "had a job interview" "met ZY in the city" blabla. And I will probably never take a look into any of these calendar books again, because I don't see why I should. Be happy because I can take a look at what I did on August 18th 2008?

So what I'm trying to say is, it's not a bad thing not to remember what you did the last days/weeks/whatever if nothing important happened anyways.

[lostpilot]

Yeah, point is, my lack of memory is kinda intentional. I have this shitty summer here, so I can pretty much skip the whole thing towards autumn. Just kinda been going crazy/depressed from pot,  but it's all in the boundaries I guess.

And have been getting MUCH shit from people around about pot; basically some meaningless paranoia-induced thoughts from other people (most of these thoughts lack evidence in reality therefore I am not giving it too much thought) and MOSTLY, my ex-gf, which I am trying to avoid at all costs, because basically she became everything negative about me. Yeah, may I sound weird, but our relationship (though I doubt we ever had a "real" functional relationship) is now based on pot and negative thoughts basically. For about a year and a half we had been smoking pot together pretty much always, and it was great, but lately she became psychologically aggressive and somewhat abusive, always saying shit about me, how I lack intellect, creativity, open-mind and other things. Haven't fell any love/positive emotions from her in about three months. I am trying to push away; she is trying to come back with more negativity, I try to push away, she backs me down again with all the negativity and "caring" for me (which usually includes pointing out all the obvious negative things about my personality and behavior that I cannot change - she once said herself, that she is naive for still believing I can change for her, while I CANNOT and I WILL NOT. I am what I am, fuck it). She hates my self-medication, and she thinks she knows what is better for me; while that is only better for her. I know what's best for me, because this is my god damned life.

All that "caring" for me ends up with her negativity. We talked about it for minutes, hours and days, but there is no solution here, and what I feel is we have an expiration date, that's closer and closer. I cannot cut off her entirely, that is also a problem. She is now living with one of my best friends as a housemate (and, jeeez, had been flirting with him around me (to my sadness he responds), while he is with my other friend, they're a couple for about 2-3 years now), she is often with some of my friends. This keeps happening. I keep dragging new people to my closest friends' circle, then I decide to break-up/stop/disappear; and "she" always stays with me being the bad guy, the fucking villain. Well, it's my fault anyway, I'm too difficult in close relationships. But it's her fault for not stopping this at a reasonable time.

I know that female mentality often depends on conquering (in less abrasive ways than males do) a partner. She knows I am good for her, she feeds on me in a way, but she can't have me because, well, I do not want her. Anymore. And this drives her closer to me, or at least brings her thoughts about me belonging to her. She craves it. But I'm not hers - I'm not anyone's actually, I haven't been in a fully functional relationship since forever. I know I'm only talking shit about her while she IS very caring, friendly, open-minded. But it does hurt to always be on watch. This sucks. I need escape.

I know you could not care less; just had to spill this out somewhere.
tl;dr

[Jizzlobber]

pot kindof causes relationship problems for myself too...

or it has done once or twice...just my level of funcionality as a human if im stoned and im with her...ill kindof zombie out too much, which is in contrast to her razor sharp conversational needs.. :/

[Deftones-argentina]

Yeah, point is, my lack of memory is kinda intentional. I have this shitty summer here, so I can pretty much skip the whole thing towards autumn. Just kinda been going crazy/depressed from pot,  but it's all in the boundaries I guess.

And have been getting MUCH shit from people around about pot; basically some meaningless paranoia-induced thoughts from other people (most of these thoughts lack evidence in reality therefore I am not giving it too much thought) and MOSTLY, my ex-gf, which I am trying to avoid at all costs, because basically she became everything negative about me. Yeah, may I sound weird, but our relationship (though I doubt we ever had a "real" functional relationship) is now based on pot and negative thoughts basically. For about a year and a half we had been smoking pot together pretty much always, and it was great, but lately she became psychologically aggressive and somewhat abusive, always saying shit about me, how I lack intellect, creativity, open-mind and other things. Haven't fell any love/positive emotions from her in about three months. I am trying to push away; she is trying to come back with more negativity, I try to push away, she backs me down again with all the negativity and "caring" for me (which usually includes pointing out all the obvious negative things about my personality and behavior that I cannot change - she once said herself, that she is naive for still believing I can change for her, while I CANNOT and I WILL NOT. I am what I am, fuck it). She hates my self-medication, and she thinks she knows what is better for me; while that is only better for her. I know what's best for me, because this is my god damned life.

All that "caring" for me ends up with her negativity. We talked about it for minutes, hours and days, but there is no solution here, and what I feel is we have an expiration date, that's closer and closer. I cannot cut off her entirely, that is also a problem. She is now living with one of my best friends as a housemate (and, jeeez, had been flirting with him around me (to my sadness he responds), while he is with my other friend, they're a couple for about 2-3 years now), she is often with some of my friends. This keeps happening. I keep dragging new people to my closest friends' circle, then I decide to break-up/stop/disappear; and "she" always stays with me being the bad guy, the fucking villain. Well, it's my fault anyway, I'm too difficult in close relationships. But it's her fault for not stopping this at a reasonable time.

I know that female mentality often depends on conquering (in less abrasive ways than males do) a partner. She knows I am good for her, she feeds on me in a way, but she can't have me because, well, I do not want her. Anymore. And this drives her closer to me, or at least brings her thoughts about me belonging to her. She craves it. But I'm not hers - I'm not anyone's actually, I haven't been in a fully functional relationship since forever. I know I'm only talking shit about her while she IS very caring, friendly, open-minded. But it does hurt to always be on watch. This sucks. I need escape.

I know you could not care less; just had to spill this out somewhere.
tl;dr

If my opinion matters at all, it's obviously you're winning the battle. She's being a douchebag just to call your attention and you're not letting her in, for which I'm proud of you. She wants you to get mad and angry so that she can have a excuse for not being the only guilty the relationship just failed. you know what deerius? (I know, it's not the exact name) You deserve fucking better than some arrogant and egowhore biAtch. Try to fuck somebody before you go so you can salt your self-esteem and travel to turkey and you are safe forever.


Ps: this is apart, you have talked with your involved friends about all this drama and how they're being used as part of this chess, don't you? they should know and they should help you avoid her contact.

[lostpilot]

yeah, my friends know about everything. But we're apart now - I am completely ignoring her, we broke up in a bad bad way (the situation was all her fault and she is guilty for these problems), but now I am very much okay, just need someone to fill the gap.

And yes, I need to get laid for sure, just got kinda rusty and I am absolutely anxious about that :/

[Oldnewtype]

found my huge bat clleanin today, loaded it slam full im baked

[Jizzlobber]

i had such a heavy weekend of smoking a LOT of pot!! on monday i still felt shit...yesterday i blazed in the evening...today i only feel like im correcting myself from the weekend...tonight, i think ill have a nice hard blaze up though : )

[lostpilot]

I'm two days sober in a couple of months smoking binge. I feel awesome.
Well, I have terrible insomnia and my memory is still hazy, but generally my spirits are up.

Proposition to myself: no more DAILY blazing on my own. parties - yes, friends - yes, no blazing alone, cause this never works fine :/

[black coffee]

Since I bend over my ankle, all I do in my free time is hang out and smoke weed.
It's fun, but I miss doing sports.

Bought some "Bad Cheese" yesterday in a coffee shop (not in a supermarket). Now I get that "You smoked yourself retarded" reference from Half Baked. With this kind of weed that is surely possible.