@Jambi

[lostpilot]

I am proud of myself. I wrote 8 pages of my paper today. about 16 are left to write, or even less, so I've done 1/3 of the work.
Cool:)

way to go Kaleidoskopijus

wow, calling me Kaleidoskopijus could be the next best thing, lol

[blixa]

I'm sure you aren't as screwed as you think, you're probably just feeling a bit off and analysing every ounce of information you can think of. We all think you're great anyway, I know I do. Shalom.

do you think i could be having an existential crisis? a lot of men have been complimenting me this year. i've never been this lavished with compliments before. today when i was at the gallery this man came up to me when i came out of the gallery store and was like, "i don't mean to be weird but would you be okay with being drawn?" and i automatically said no. then he said, "you have an incredible face" which i took to mean, "i want to rip off your head and keep your face" so i kind of said that i had to go and got out of there immediately.

i think that's why i have been watching he died with a felafel in his hand:
why can't i be as sexy as anya?

definitely an existential crisis...

[Law]

No I think you're just a confused of what you want and where you want to be, that may be a mild version of what you said but very mild at best. And no I don't think you're in a crisis and complementing because of that, I'm trying to be nice and considering that I am not the most comforting of people, well take it as a compliment. I believe there are rational and logic explanations to most things, so I tell it like it is normally. That's from my profession I guess, but I have found it easier to live like that... whether people like it or not I don't particularly care, I know I'm a good person and that you and the other guys here are too.

Cake all round people!

[blixa]

no longer confused. everything got sorted.

i have this bitch of a paper to write. i wrote an essay yesterday night and now i have to write one again for another class. it's due tomorrow and i'm working all day tomorrow. won't be home till 11pm. i also have this massive headache and it feels like i'm exhausted all the time.

you know when you wake up and you've had a decent sleep (6hrs of sleep) and you still feel tired as fuck. supposedly baristas are rarely tired. it's all the caffeine they're around all day.

[Law]

I have that all the time, I think I do untoward things whilst sleeping so I feel tired in the morning haha!

It's your over active mind dear!

[blixa]

my lecturer has 5:00pm written down as the deadline to hand it in. i haven't even started. he's definitely getting it saturday night or something. i always hand shit in late.

are you always tired because you have too much sex? hahaha

[Law]

Get it sorted! Hand it in asap and be a good student!

And yeah I wish! I just have women bending over... er backwards all the time to bed me haha.

[blixa]

the essay i wrote yesterday drained me. at this point i'm sitting here reading up about robert mapplethorpe and deciding whether or not to start a blog with two of my friends that will consist of fucking on about photography, books, movies, and exhibitions.

dude, you can totally get laid. look at you!

[Law]

Blogs are good to vent, you definitely start one... I'd read it for sure I like your comments generally.

Especially that last one actually! Haha no I don't see that at all, it's my personality I think, nothings ever good enough so thinking about my vanity in that sort of way is alien to me and I feel rude doing so, it's for other people to judge and if they like me well so be it. I appreciate it so much when people approach me though, it's a great feeling but I don't tend to think about it from my perspective and besides, some girl last night who was with a mate last night said to me I was weird, oh joy!

And when I was just reading that again, it sounds like I haven't tried it yet hahaha! Oops!

[blixa]

keeping up with a blog is hard work. i think sharing the blogging aspect would help because it wouldn't feel like it is just you doing it all alone.

what is wrong with your personality? how are you weird? if you're weird then i'm a fucking science experiment gone wrong. you are good looking and you seem to be a decent guy. i don't think people should pass judgement after first meetings. i'm usually terrible with first meetings. i get flustered and paranoid about whether that person will like me and want to be my friend. utter garbage. i think it's hard for men. they have to make all the moves. i find that extremely terrifying. i would occasionally see a nice guy and i would never think to do anything about it because they are in the place to reject me. i think it would be much better if we were less afraid of rejection.

why is it so hard to get a root?

[Law]

I guess my main thing is that I like to get plenty back from a convo, so someone who is inherently boring and appears stupid will be a instant no goer, so I guess that generally cuts out like 80% of people (I sound elitist I know). Getting 'a root' isn't hard at all I think when you observe people, I am good at reading people from just looking at them that is one thing I do pride myself on. I can talk to people quite easily, I have developed that over the last few years from this work... so I am lucky for that. But I do like people who challenge me, so someone who likes to think away from the norm and filter into my misanthropy generally are quite cool to me, but to be honest it isn't clear cut, I have mates and met people of whom on paper you wouldn't think I would get along with but hey presto I am fine with them, but general tarty fakeness in a club is such a old dog trick. And even though we are just talking about sex, for me an ability to have a tiny conversation does help lol.

Wow I do have issues. You're my new therapist.

[blixa]

it's weird you say that about wanting to have a proper conversation with someone because i eavesdrop a bit (blame it on small crowded pubs) and i hear complete bullshit being said back and forth. it kind of reads like a bad script. it has put a bad taste in my mouth about the whole ordeal of meeting people and talking to them. at this point i say nothing when i meet new people, especially men. i only talk when i'm being talked to. what would you say is challenging to you? i still refuse to believe that you can't get a root and i'm right. you just want a meaningful conversation in the middle of it. you want someone worthy to have sex with, even if it is meaningless sex.

i'd laugh if we can't get along, but you never know. i'm very random when i start talking and i think that helps me in making friends. i'm just the kooky girl. i get called smart and i don't even have to prove it, which helps.

stop going to clubs. nothing but trouble there. oh, what's your pet peeve regarding clothes?

[Law]

I don't want to talk to everyone, it's more the fact if someone approaches me... it's easier if you can talk to them without feeling that you are literally scraping the barrel, hehe. But yes you are right about the root, a lot easier when you said it. What's challenging? It's not that clear cut, I guess a decent personality, someone who takes the piss because to be honest I can wind people up left right and centre but all in all someone who isn't retarded. Harsh but true lol.

Yeah it would be pretty funny if we didn't get along, I guess we'd laugh it off though. I'd get you to prove your smartness though haha.

My pet peeve regarding clothes? Er does none count? haha

[blixa]

i'll use fake intelligence. it has worked for me thus far. i'm very cool though hahaha. everyone says. there's this guy in my honours class who talks to me a bit. he's very intelligent so i try to avoid talking to him because i don't want to look like a fool. then i find out through one of my lecturers who has taught me for several years now that he is in fact very shy and finds it difficult to approach me. so now i have to make an effort to talk to him because i feel bad for not being friendlier.

i get into a lot of trouble for having a somewhat conservative stance on casual sex and stuff. we'll probably squabble over that. actually i think we'll squabble a lot. i fight with almost everyone. dude, i hate physics hahaha. i find the periodic table extremely beautiful to look at. it's the same joy i get from reading the dictionary.

i go to an art school. i have a lot of pet peeves regarding clothes...mostly people trying too hard. i hate girls who wear heels to uni. i always feel like pushing them over, taking their shoes off their feet and throwing it in their face. well, not really, it just irks me.

[Law]

Haha fake intelligence is the same in a way, takes a good mind to come up with it in the first place.

Always stand up for you believe in, I don't think we would squabble too much over certain things, I am pretty laid back but I guess coming from a standard English family has instilled some cautionary measures into my subconscious! And I know you think I am science geek, which I am... but I like to try a lot of things. Put it this way, when I was 4-15 I rode motorbikes, from 6 I used to sell art at school and make a profit, I was in line to go to artschool, I have played and wrote tunes for the last 10 years, gigged hell of a lot, street ride all the time and do stupid stunts which usually hurt when I get them wrong. PhD is just my day job and science and math I am good at, but I am very artistic in a lot of senses, with perhaps more logic than most haha.

[blixa]

i'm very laid back regarding a lot of things but i impose restrictions on myself. i don't know why. out of habit i think. you can't always give yourself what you want.

it's good you tried all those things. it gives you range. makes you more of a catch hahaha which one would you say you enjoyed the most?

i can see you as a bmx bandit:


i bet it's your favourite film!

[Law]

I always wanted to draw for graphic novels, I used to draw judge dredd a lot
but generally I like what I'm doing. Saying that I should be touring with
my old band, practically being offered a major and then failing at the last hurdle
is a bit annoying!


Nice picture, that is what goes through my mind all time!

[lostpilot]

kids, how have you been?

[blixa]

oh, you know, talking about philosophical stuff and our feelings hahaha this thread is super soft. i love it.

I always wanted to draw for graphic novels, I used to draw judge dredd a lot
but generally I like what I'm doing. Saying that I should be touring with
my old band, practically being offered a major and then failing at the last hurdle
is a bit annoying!


Nice picture, that is what goes through my mind all time!

doing what you're doing now makes you sexier. i'm so over musicians (not you, darius! i'm talking about those indie bands where all the members have girlfriends who look like models), artists, and skateboarders. those are three things i'm over. where the carpenters at?!?

[lostpilot]

lol, Mazzy

I've been living very weird days. A mixture of everything I could say, some pain, some happiness, some sadness and some achievements. Very weird times. I feel different after the surgery, mostly because of the full anesthesia and a couple of days after that. It seems like I got some kind of a "reboot" in my system. Very weird, pleasant, interesting, yet weird