So I gave myself the Heimlich maneuver today.

[Variable]

I woke up a bit late today and barely made breakfast. So I sat alone in the chow tent or DFAK as the army likes to call it. As most of you can imagine not being around women for about 8 months will make you forget one or two of your table manners and I was shoving food down my throat at a constantly accelerating rate. Suddenly I felt a bit of a pressure in the back of my throat. Hmmmm, so I assumed that I had some food clumped up into my esophagus and took a drink of apple juice to try and wash the obstruction down where it belonged. Well I knew I was in trouble when I could feel the apple juice going down my esophagus, but the pressure remained. Well at this point my ability to breath seemed like it would be an important thing to check, after all I am an EMT and we are taught to check Airway first. And I discovered that inhalation was actually not a task I was able to perform. At this point I realized that I might be in trouble. In fact the only other souls in the room were a very small mouse who only moments earlier I was devising a plan to kill, and a very old afghan man who walks around all day saying nothing but the word "shabaz" (pashtu for good job) over and over and over again to himself. So as my vision started to tunnel and I could feel my heart beating through my neck I quickly made my way to the front of the tent as I knew some of Americas finest soldiers were standing by a fire right outside. But then I stopped and pondered a though. I was in fact one of two people on this camp that wears the uniform of the United States Marine Corps. And I constantly tell the Soldiers on the camp that they are a bunch of pussies. All in good fun of course, but still. I knew that if I went out seeking help that I would be ridiculed for a good couple weeks. All in good fun of course, but still. I have my pride. So I stopped, turned to a table, and performed the Heimlich maneuver on myself. The food must have not been completely down my Trachea but was possibly sitting on top of my epiglottis because my body also decided to vomit at the same time, and after a good three or four violent spells of emesis I could breath once again. I then returned to my breakfast and total disregard for table manners.
There is a simple point and moral to this story. that I hope you all learned as you read. But if not, I will state it for you. Swallow your food, not your pride. I still have the right to call the army pussies because of it.

[mrs_swa]

wow, i'm glad everything is ok Trey.  this act of bravery adds to your level of awesomness

[tarkil]

Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...









Fag

[goldpony]

Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...









Fag

LMFAO! ^5

i want to know what you did to the vomit? since you didnt state whether or not that the actual puking took place outside the mess tent, i have to assume you blew chunks there. you didnt say if you cleaned it up, only that you went back to eating. so, did you just leave it there? it would be awesome if you did for someone else to find

[shine down unshy]

That would've sucked if you died.  All that shit you talked and then you choke on something.  Still, glad you're okay.

[13hourstoparadise]

That would've sucked if you died.  All that shit you talked and then you choke on something.  Still, glad you're okay.

[Frankz0r]

Swallow your food, not your pride.

MAN that's the qoute of the day, I'm serious. I'm glad you're ok, and you're lucky your an EMT or whatever it's called. Average people would die...

[13hourstoparadise]

Jokes a side, glad you're alright.

I got stun by a bee once, wowwweee I thought my little finger was gonna fall off.

[devilinside]

shabaz

[Variable]

shabaz

lol that made me laugh so hard.  Im pretty sure there are pics of that guy on youtube.  He just walks around going SABAAAAAAZ shabaz shabaz shabaz SHABAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZ

Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...









Fag

LMFAO! ^5

i want to know what you did to the vomit? since you didnt state whether or not that the actual puking took place outside the mess tent, i have to assume you blew chunks there. you didnt say if you cleaned it up, only that you went back to eating. so, did you just leave it there? it would be awesome if you did for someone else to find

I actually did leave it there.  Two different places.  Making other people clean up your puke is the only way to roll.

Nice excuse to explain that you nearly choke on one of your friend's cock...









Fag

awwwwww, he called me his friend

[Nailec]

heimlich maneuver?

german words sound weird between englisch words.


cant you get some afghan girl there?

with a beard and hair on her back

[Variable]

you know its actually not called the heimlich maneuver any more.  Dr. Heimlich was sick of being called in as an expert whitness in law suits so he asked that it be called something else.  I think we are calling them abdominal thrust now.

And no, I can't get an afghan girl.  That would not be very good in the big picture for the war on terror

[tarkil]

Hence the cock chocking... I get the picture, yes....   

[Variable]

the us military will do whatever it takes to get the job done.  I suck cock for world security.

[tarkil]

ha ha ha ha... Reminds me of Team America !  How are you doing down there ?
Any other story worth the telling ?

[13hourstoparadise]

I'll make love to you right now if you tell me you'll never die.

[White Pwny]

I'll make love to you right now if you tell me you'll never die.

lol.  made me actually laugh out loud.

[Variable]

ha ha ha ha... Reminds me of Team America !  How are you doing down there ?
Any other story worth the telling ?

well.........not really.  Just the US army is stupid and fucks everything up.  3 guys got shot last night, because they walked into a village where we have been saying there are 40 insurgents for like a month now.  But these guys were SF so I guess they knew better than us.  Retards

[13hourstoparadise]

And no, I can't get an afghan girl.  That would not be very good in the big picture for the war on terror

Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Fuck war.

[Atomic]

make love, not war.
or make love while at war, like what James Bond does!