I worte this a few years ago . i didn't no where to post it ( Noob) so i posted it here umm feedback is greatly aprecciated
Sorry for the grammatical errors
Goodbye
Today is the day i'll make things better
make them on my own
The days of destrusction are over
I am here for good. so
Think about the days we were one .
The days where nothing could stop us.
Light up , Light up . Today is only today . one day less in this life
No day goes bye that i don't hink of you
but its all too late and my path has changed
SIng this song to make you better
Sing this song to see things clearer
After all we're only human
THis love will go on forever. so why persue it with all things bad?.
Goodbye, Goodbye .
Our hands are gone
Our hearts are free
Sweet roses yellow buttercups
Everythign beautiful will remind me of you
and everything ugly wil remind in the past
The days are here let them live so i can say
Goodbye
Once and for all
Puctuation/grammer = Bad but apart from that ? .
Spam? I like my last para
Really liked it, seems truly heartfelt. It could easily be a cure song.
Thank you ;D
Quote from: Deftones-argentina on Jul 19, 2008, 04:55 AM
Really liked it, seems truly heartfelt. It could easily be a cure song.
haha you've said that before
A feast-peace offering
unto thine god
the sun and the ark
my offering
right by the covenant
rejoice in his voice
granting us our
dreams and blessin's
dem don't know
just get in touch with
The Trinity
can't have a bad soul
to feel the spirit
Majestic Trippin'
Irie Meditation
Armageddon
I'm one of the lost 12 Thru Creation.
this is cool man! id just rid of the verse:[goodbye, goodbye...] feels like it decreases the emphasis at the end, try it and see, hope it doesnt mess up with the measures lawl
edit>
of course not talking about the stuff from above
just out of curiosity *musick junkie, -how old are you?
why ? lol I, know the poems pretty crap I'll give you a clue i wrote it in Year 9 which means i was 13
Ahh the immature days XD